Already in this New Year, we’re hyper-focused on a project, caught up in a massive “to do” list or just without energy for social situations. Yet opportunities for meaningful conversation are resplendent despite lifestyles. Nothing to talk about? Not true! In our spinning world, there’s so much to learn about one another.
Lackluster feelings trap us into focusing on the same topics, day after day (weather, vacation, Trump, the winter flu, for example). Questions and dialogs repeat themselves: “How are you?” “Fine”; “What’s new?” “Nothing”. What’s going on here? We’ve lost a sense of wonder.
Engagement with another person starts with sincere curiosity about another person’s life. How did that person get to that spot right then in conversation with you? Ok, Skeptics….even if attending a meeting was mandatory, for example, and that’s why you’re in a room with some particular people, why not make an effort to learn more? When we approach our interactions with a sense of “new”, we’re almost assured some interesting tidbits will surface. Further, we’ll realize how our lives intersect, creating a “warm and fuzzy” bond. Lovely!
Here are some additional suggestions for climbing out of social doldrums:
Take attention off yourself. Notice for a moment self-indulgent thoughts and decide that it’s time to focus on another person! You can do this!
Pretend you’re meeting someone for the first time (and maybe you are). Consider what you know about them and generate a question from there. Be prepared for the roles to be reversed after you ask a question. Often the same question will be posed in the “what about you?” reply.
Please know that listening is the biggest gift. Thank you, Introverts. People crave being heard. Ask a question and then fully enjoy hearing the answer, without worrying about what comes next in the dialog. For a satisfying and motivating experience, listen intently.
My current favorites inquiries:
- “What do you enjoy about your day these days?”
- What are you looking forward to?
- Tell me about something that’s happened this week?
- You’re from _______. What’s it like to live there?
- What are people talking about in your “neck of the woods”?
Let’s not take our relationships for granted in 2018. Instead, reach out to others, friends and strangers alike. Through everyday conversation, we’ll experience inherent goodwill between neighbors and all our “brothers and sisters”.
Social Doldrums be gone!
