It’s almost impossible these days not to engage in discussion about current events. Some of us have even joined protests to find our voice. Yet, concurrently many fear recrimination and remain silent. Silence might be interpreted as acceptance of the new status quo. Unfortunately, we might never know.
Talking about issues is the “Elephant in the Room”! We’re unsure what to expect so we’re don’t know how to start the difficult conversation. Further, we’re feeling “thin skinned”.
So what do we do about this silent yet lumbering Elephant ? Here are some suggestions to explore the savannah with grace:
Timing
Sometimes timing just isn’t right. Like at a birthday party, for example, when attendees are focused on celebration. Stay patient, enjoy the party, and instead commit to finding another time for discussion. It’s ok to say: “Let’s schedule a time to talk about …. soon, next week, or over a coffee etc… Then, follow up and look forward to a more focused conversation at a more appropriate time.
Process First
Many of us feel frustrated by the terrible behaviors and comments we’re witnessing in the world today. Ahead of engaging in any conversation, it’s best to process these emotions. We don’t want dialog to be a session for venting. Can you be reasonable? If not, find ways to release anger and upset ahead of conversing.
Are you really ready?
Are you ready to listen fully without the intent of pushing an “agenda”? Conversation is a two-way exchange, taking turns to listen, contemplate and reply. Don’t address the elephant until you’re ready to commit to an open dialog.
Friendship and Humanity
Agree upfront that you value the relationship and will not let a disagreement impact it.
Environment matters
Make others feel safe and respected, no matter what! A warm sincere and caring demeanor needs to show up.
Leave judgment at home. Unless you’re on the world stage, there’s little reason to make a verdict about another’s beliefs. There are many answers and who’s to say that only one person is correct. Remind yourself that there’s more to learn, more to consider.
What happens when others don’t want to engage with you? Facing issues, debating policies and reviewing one’s actions is not for everyone. If someone refuses to have a conversation, take a breath and let it go. Recognize that it can be scary to “weigh in” and some people just don’t want to “go there”. Respect that choice and move on.
Although focused on providing a hopeful worldview, in Denver and beyond, A Table In Time engages participants in all types of conversations, including those more difficult topics not being discussed. We challenge guests to bring their best, full selves to the gathering knowing that our stories will connect more than divide us. If you need conversation facilitation, please let us know.
