Sometimes we just don’t understand another person’s viewpoint. We’re befuddled, even distressed. This is particularly evident during an election year. Many of us, myself included, shy away from making too many political references. Or, for others, posts on Facebook seem like the only safe place to be fervent.
This past summer the “Nuns on the Bus” surveyed Republican and Democratic convention participants over a cup of 
lemonade. They asked three questions: “(1) Who in your family is difficult to discuss politics with and why? (2) What worries you about this election? (3) What gives you hope for our nation?”[fusion_builder_container hundred_percent=”yes” overflow=”visible”][fusion_builder_row][fusion_builder_column type=”1_1″ background_position=”left top” background_color=”” border_size=”” border_color=”” border_style=”solid” spacing=”yes” background_image=”” background_repeat=”no-repeat” padding=”” margin_top=”0px” margin_bottom=”0px” class=”” id=”” animation_type=”” animation_speed=”0.3″ animation_direction=”left” hide_on_mobile=”no” center_content=”no” min_height=”none”][1] Their observations reinforce the ever-present need to converse.
“We need to sweeten the sour conversations in our body politic, in our families, and in our communities. We need to talk with people with whom we do not normally engage. If we want to mend the gaps and reweave the fabric of society, then we need to move beyond trading barbs, attacks, and presumed facts and focus instead on our hearts, probe our fears, and dare to hope for our nation.”
Although the lack of constructive political dialog saddens me, we shouldn’t let our resistance shut down easy or difficult conversations. Quite the opposite is true: we should re-double our efforts to make a connection. Why live with so much acrimony?
Even when we’re on different sides of the aisle how might we still build our relationships through conversation? Here are some suggestions to consider.
Keep love at the forefront! Love our brothers and sisters, no matter what. This sounds naïve yet deep down we are united by similar values. Our differences are more superficial that they might appear.
Laugh. Dialog can’t exist without humor. Plus, it’s way more fun. When one person takes him/herself too seriously 
conversation is stymied.
Show humility. Know what we know and what we don’t know (and we don’t know everything!). Be willing to fully hear another person’s opinion. If listening is difficult, keep breathing, deeply.
Wonder. It’s ok to reflect on how one person can have such different, “out there” opinions, those “Wow, where do those ideas come from” thoughts. Wonder. Truly. And stay open to new possibilities.
Remember that dialog is “conversation between two or more people”. If the conversation is only about one person’s opinion, why bother engaging in it? Listen well and as Stephen Covey recommends “Seek first to understand…”[2]. Ignore fears in the moment. Misunderstanding occurs because we lack full information and that can scare us. To develop a broader, more informed perspective, keep those scary voices away.
As the “Nuns on the Bus” recommend, “ focus… on our hearts, probe our fears, and dare to hope for our nation.” Developing consistent dialog with all types of people, no matter the differences, expands goodwill in our world.
Converse and wonder.
[1] https://networklobby.org/bus2016/ and https://www.facebook.com/nunsonthebus/
[2] The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People by Stephen R. Covey; Simon & Schuster, New York, 1989[/fusion_builder_column][/fusion_builder_row][/fusion_builder_container]
