Every person can create and engage in thoughtful conversation around the table. When glancing around a friend’s back yard last weekend, filled with 24 guests for a “Summer Send Off “ party, I was amazed: each guest was fully participating in dialog with someone else. No one was quiet! Guests seemed to glide easily around the patio, welcoming others into conversation or approaching them with a handshake. Laughter wafted up into the branches of a large tree. Not wanting to interrupt the remarkable din, the host pushed off the “dinner hour,” unworried about food becoming cold! Perfect- why interrupt? Most guests did not know one another, yet somehow, the conversation flowed.

In our increasingly disconnected world connecting with co-workers, fellow volunteers, board members, acquaintances, neighbors, and even friends and family can be challenging.   Yet, witnessing last weekend’s ease gives me confidence that barriers are superficial if the right “hosting” is in place. Conversation occurs if there’s thoughtful hospitality.

Every person can create and engage in thoughtful conversation by using tips learned from hospitality. Here are mine:

Preparation: “A hospitable conversationalist means preparing thoroughly and thoughtfully for your guest.”[fusion_builder_container hundred_percent=”yes” overflow=”visible”][fusion_builder_row][fusion_builder_column type=”1_1″ background_position=”left top” background_color=”” border_size=”” border_color=”” border_style=”solid” spacing=”yes” background_image=”” background_repeat=”no-repeat” padding=”” margin_top=”0px” margin_bottom=”0px” class=”” id=”” animation_type=”” animation_speed=”0.3″ animation_direction=”left” hide_on_mobile=”no” center_content=”no” min_height=”none”][1]  Plan all logistics ahead. This might include confirming a menu, providing office supplies and required technology for the meeting room, assuring cleanliness and appeal of a venue, setting up tables and chairs etc… Make sure the space is ready and food preparations, if offering a meal, are as complete as possible.

Time: Most of us live full, demanding lives. Beyond everyday small talk, we struggle finding moments to connect with others. Build in time for “off topic” discussion, space to be present with others, without any agenda.

The Attendee List: Consider who is attending. If hosting a social or networking gathering, mix up the invite list. Reflect on who might enjoy whom. What role have they played in your work or personal life? Why are they being included?

What do participants share in common? What do they like to do?

Seating: If possible, arrange who sits next to whom. This applies to a meeting as much as a social gathering. The seating arrangements should be purposeful and make it easier for guests (and employees) to immediately connect with someone.

Greeting: Greet each person with enthusiasm. A kind reception creates comfort, setting the stage for easeful interactions.

Introductions: Introduce, introduce, introduce and provide a reason for why particular guests should meet. Or, after the introduction, insert a topic to help start conversation. As far as introductions…keep it traditional and uncomplicated. The Emily Post Institute suggests we:

“Look at the person (we) are speaking to first, then turn to the other person as (we) complete the introduction…

Even in informal situations or with contemporaries, it’s helpful to use first and last names: ‘Judy, this is Tom Jacobs. Tom, this is Judy Samson…’

When introducing someone to a small group, it’s practical to name the group members first, primarily to get their attention: “Sara, Kathy, Dan, I’d like to introduce Curtis Tyler. Curtis, I’d like you to meet Sara Rocher, Kathy Henley, and Dan Quinn.”[2]

Welcome Comments: Express your intention for the gathering and or meeting, showing gratitude for the chance to bring people together. Make guests feel valued. As a way to nudge guests toward conversation, introduce a theme into your welcome remarks.   For example, last weekend’s host shared a quote about the end of summer and we, in turn, with other guests, reflected on our experiences during this time of year.

Some Favorite Questions: Have a pocketful of favorite questions. Question from the “End of Summer” gathering included: “Tell me about a happy summer memory; What season do you enjoy the most and why; What’s your favorite activity during the summer”.

Wear Another Shoe: Remember to put yourself in someone else’s shoes when in conversation. To fully experience what another person is sharing, listen, empathize and keep your mind quiet.

When gathering around any table, for conversation over a meal, or not, remember to exhale and relax. Imagine how warm hospitality welcomes our full selves to the table. Let go off distracting cell phones, negative political discourse and the frenetic pace. Instead enjoy the chance to participate in joyful interactions. Use tips from hospitality and your own inherent hospitable spirit to create and engage in conversation.

Every person has the ability to authentically connect through conversation around any table! Come back to the table for memorable conversation- today!

[1] “Acumen Presents: Krista Tippet on the Art of Conversation”; Udemy; Lecture #13

[2]“Tips for Making a Great Introduction”; http://emilypost.com/advice/making-introductions/[/fusion_builder_column][/fusion_builder_row][/fusion_builder_container]