When my children were younger one of my pet peeves was how they sat at the table.   I mean, specifically, how they sat in their chairs. They were expected to “sit correctly” meaning that their bottoms were centered on the seat: no slouching. “Put your napkin on your lap”, “sit up straight”, “put your knife down after cutting”, “keep your elbows off the table” were common refrains. To this day my young adult kids will raise their elbows high, like chicken wings, during a meal, mocking my past “no elbows” request.

Dinnertime gives us a chance to pause. We grow up at the table: learn manners, develop our palates and hear each other’s stories and opinions. Dinnertime offers a semblance of order to our lives. It provides spiritual, intellectual and physical sustenance.

My mother didn’t like to cook. Instead we had many meals prepared by a loving woman named Jay Ferrara. She arrived at our house in her huge pale yellow Cadillac with her three dachshunds! Her stunning red hair was piled high in a beehive. In between lovingly pinching my cheeks and admiring our blooming rhododendron, she nurtured us through her delicious meals.

Since my dad commuted three hours in a day, dinner was usually served at 7:00 pm, late for a kid. The table was always set with placemats and full setting of silverware! We were required to wear shoes at the table and be dressed “appropriately”, meaning no sports clothing or pajamas without a bathrobe and slippers. Yes, this sounds rigid.

Yet, table manners impacts my enjoyment of a meal today. Although our manners seemed strict, they provided a semblance of calm for the gathering at hand. We knew how to behave. Demonstrating manners was part of a framework for enabling memorable conversation. When we’re sitting up straight, looking each other in the eye, listening attentively, we engage with one another!. That’s just my “take away”.

There are surely other customs that support daily enjoyment at the table including special food, cooking together, questions for conversation, including the classic “how was your day?”

What does dinnertime conjure up for you?

Please share your memories at the end of this  blog or Facebook page.

Admittedly not every family dinner offers a positive experience and that goes for our dinners as well…they’re not always rosy. If there’s stress over the meal, such as during its preparation, then find a way to make simpler meals. If family members tend to argue, make a point of setting the intention with everyone, every time if need be. Time together at the table is too precious.

The meal is only one part of the whole picture. Every gathering offers us the chance to commune with one another, even if just briefly. And nothing has to be perfect! We gather for a meal together in our kitchen almost every day. Our “start time” and menu wildly vary and we don’t always use placemats. Our son dines in sport clothes. We relish each other as much as possible- that’s our focus. When looking back, we can bring the best forward.

Please come back to the table with loved ones, family, friends and new acquaintances. Make your daily table at work and home something others can count on. A Table In Time for memorable conversation is now.