Last minute details can derail us. Corporate dinners, for example, require us to know who needs to be recognized, decide who sits next to whom, and offer an appropriate toast or a few short words of gratitude. Similarly at home we scurry around the kitchen to finish meal preparations. Do we really need that sprig of dill on the appetizer? As much as we might plan ahead, our entertaining “to do” list grows like Pinocchio’s nose, creating pre-event frenzy.
There are, of course, some practical solutions. Use your budget to hire a planner. Ignore technology and grab a piece of scrap paper to jot down a few words about your co-workers. Slowly craft your thoughts over your morning coffee. Sit the most challenging employee next to yourself. Regardless of the venue, hosting and conversation is about being genuine and trusting your instincts.
At home, set the table a week ahead. Shop for as many ingredients as possible on the weekend. Plan a simple menu. Or, if time is running out on meal preparation, forgo a few “extras” – no one will miss the chopped parsley sprinkled on the beautiful lasagna. Order dessert from a favorite bakery instead of making from scratch.
Yes, there are tricks for entertaining. This, however, is not the point. Too much fussing detracts from the “Yesh” of our gathering, the Kabbalistic term for “being-ness”, “is-ness”, the “why” of inviting guests together in the first place.
Setting a menu and serving a meal are organized rational activities. Yet, rationality is and always will be only one part of life’s equation. The organized details do not ultimately hold sway over the success of an event.
Gathering together at the table, uniting with our best selves, gives us a chance to glimpse a happy world. In a recent podcast, rabbinical scholar, Lawrence Kushner * describes “yesh” as everything we know in our world with a “beginning and end”, “spatial coordinates” and bordered” by “not just the material reality” but concepts such as beauty and love. Genuine conversation over a meal (the Yesh) provides us with a bonding experience. Together we cultivate inner knowledge on how to live and work thoughtfully, optimistically. Hearing each other’s stories and feeling heard engenders deep trust and hope for a graceful world already within us.
Keep your focus on the guests at the table. That’s the “Yesh” and it’s more than enough.
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