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In this election year, politicians attempt to define the national dialog and convince us to join their “side”. Their success hinges on knowing what to talk about and asking the right questions. Yet, when questions are posed, do we feel heard?

Asking the right questions and listening well is how we learn and connect with each other. Interacting is less about what we’re talking about and more about what we’re asking and hearing: “questions are more transformative than answers and are the essential tools of engagement.”[fusion_builder_container hundred_percent=”yes” overflow=”visible”][fusion_builder_row][fusion_builder_column type=”1_1″ background_position=”left top” background_color=”” border_size=”” border_color=”” border_style=”solid” spacing=”yes” background_image=”” background_repeat=”no-repeat” padding=”” margin_top=”0px” margin_bottom=”0px” class=”” id=”” animation_type=”” animation_speed=”0.3″ animation_direction=”left” hide_on_mobile=”no” center_content=”no” min_height=”none”][1]

Questions can be personal and non-threatening. Even asking a co-worker what he/she ate for breakfast can offer an interesting glimmer into the whole person and open up communication channels. Plus, it’s fun to ask slightly offbeat questions…way better than starting a conversation with an overly serious demeanor. If we can “break the ice” at the beginning of a meeting or conference call, more genuine dialog follows.ice breakers wikipedia copy

Of course, if we ask a question, we should be truly curious about the answer. To demonstrate our sincere interest, we need to deeply listen. This means no multi-tasking such as looking at our cell phones. Look directly in someone’s eyes. It’s so much better than staring at a computer screen!

Too often we have an agenda and miss the opportunity to experience another person’s gifts. The good news is that it doesn’t take much to truly connect at a more authentic level with a co-worker. And the benefits for building rich and productive relationship are huge!

Not sure what to ask? Here are some pre-meeting questions:

  • What’s your favorite breakfast (lunch, or dinner) dish?
  • Who is a celebrity you admire?
  • What book are you reading?
  • If you had to leave your home forever and had five minutes, what items would you grab?
  • Who has been the most kind in your life and why?
  • How do you like to celebrate your birthday and or recognize someone else’s birthday?
  • What would constitute a perfect day for you?
  • When was the last time you sang a song to yourself? Someone else? What song was it?

Gathering for a meal with co-workers? Here are some fresh vegetables wikipedia copyconversation starters related to food and table traditions:

  • What’s one of the most unusual meals you’ve ever eaten?
  • What tastes do you enjoy most? Sweet, savory, spicy…
  • Do you enjoy cooking? Why or why not?
  • What kitchen gadget can’t you live without?
  • What are your traditions over the holidays, like Thanksgiving?
  • Are you a tea or coffee drinker? How do you like it prepared?
  • How do you like your eggs cooked?

A Table In Time is now!

Bon Appetite! Bonne Conversation!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[1] Community: the Structure of Belonging by Peter Block; Berrett-Koehler Publishers, Inc., 2009; page 103[/fusion_builder_column][/fusion_builder_row][/fusion_builder_container]

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