Not too long ago while in the pool there was another “swimmer” walking down the lane and wearing a face mask and snorkel, examining the water and pool bottom with every step. To the chagrin of the other swimmers, he was looking for debris. His mature age played a factor as walking was less strenuous than swimming. He’d find some “foreign object” and let out a cheer. Understandably, the other swimmers weren’t eager to learn about microscopic trash in the water not as they smoothly stroked freestyle from end to end. There were two swimmers with two different agendas, which begged the question: how do we cultivate an open demeanor to “see” what might truly be there?
Sometimes it’s shocking to realize what we don’t see. Haven’t you ever looked at yourself in the mirror, after being out in the world for hours, only to discover food in your teeth? How was it that no one even mentioned it? Most likely they didn’t notice! Our power of observation also fails us sometimes when we’re looking at newborn babies, for example…we erroneously refer to the wrong sex. We bring our own biases and judgements with us every where we go.
Don’t feel bad! Not fully noticing our surroundings is normal. It’s human nature to know what we know and begin our visual assessment from that secure place. Still “food in our teeth” aside, we often miss social cues and misjudge situations based on our brains scantily discerning images. An explanation from a recent article in Scientific America defines this challenge between what our subconscious tells us we’re seeing versus what’s closer to the truth as implicit bias:
“When is the last time a stereotype popped into your mind? If you are like most people, the authors included, it happens all the time. That doesn’t make you a racist, sexist, or whatever- ist. It just means your brain is working properly, noticing patterns, and making generalizations. But the same thought processes that make people smart can also make them biased. This tendency for stereotype-confirming thoughts to pass spontaneously 
through our minds is what psychologists call implicit bias. It sets people up to overgeneralize, sometimes leading to discrimination even when people feel they are being fair.”*
through our minds is what psychologists call implicit bias. It sets people up to overgeneralize, sometimes leading to discrimination even when people feel they are being fair.”*Here are some suggestions to enable broader sight:
- Travel. Whether locally or going abroad, see more of your world and increase your personal comfort zone.
- Stop, breathe and deliberately and slowly look around. Quiet your mind so it doesn’t compete with what you’re eyes are experiencing.
- Especially when in conversation, question your observations. Simply ask yourself, “What am I truly seeing?” (and hearing).
- Use other cues to inform observations. Is there a sudden pit in your stomach? What do you hear? Are other senses engaged?
We miss the beauty in a moment when we’re caught up in some other detail that draws our attention away from feeling discomfort. It’s like missing the stunning work of a cake decorator because our stomachs scream “eat quick”. Seeing is a sense not to be underestimated.There’s more at stake for our relationships when we rush to judgement.
This Spring as trees begin to bloom, use your eyes an an ally. Increased understanding will ensue!
*How to Think about “Implicit Bias” by Keith Payne, Laura Niemi, John M. Doris; Scientific America, March 27, 2018; https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/how-to-think-about-implicit-bias/?ref=creativemornings.com&utm_source=CreativeMornings-HQ&utm_campaign=e78235b034-EMAIL_CAMPAIGN_2017_07_17&utm_medium=email&utm_term=0_1768cc808f-e78235b034-323897097&mc_cid=e78235b034&mc_eid=df96f244ec
