When political topics come up around the table, there can be an elephant in the room. One guest voices a strong opinion, maybe too verbosely, and others respond, but not everyone. There’s quiet and then another comment and again some silence, signaling that not everyone at the table agrees. The environment has changed. Guests feel uncomfortable participating in the conversation.
As hosts, how do we manage an awkward one-sided conversation (and the guest who has not picked up on cues or wants to provoke a response)?
- All guests need to feel heard, even the difficult ones. Acknowledge the outspoken guest, regardless of any disagreement, and attempt to re-direct the conversation through a different question or topic. For added goodwill, smile.
- Keep a sense of humor. This is a social gathering not a political forum. Attempt to make a joke, saying something that everyone can laugh about around the subject or not. Admittedly, pulling a joke from your repertoire takes some finesse since political topics don’t lend themselves to objective humor- one side is usually the butt of the joke. Instead, “Poke fun at yourself”, recommends Forbes contributor, Kara Anderson in her article, “Use Humor to Befriend, Diffuse Tension and Have More Fun.”[fusion_builder_container hundred_percent=”yes” overflow=”visible”][fusion_builder_row][fusion_builder_column type=”1_1″ background_position=”left top” background_color=”” border_size=”” border_color=”” border_style=”solid” spacing=”yes” background_image=”” background_repeat=”no-repeat” padding=”” margin_top=”0px” margin_bottom=”0px” class=”” id=”” animation_type=”” animation_speed=”0.3″ animation_direction=”left” hide_on_mobile=”no” center_content=”no” min_height=”none”][1] Anderson asserts, “ When one makes oneself the butt of the joke one demonstrates unifying humor.” Humor reminds guests that we’re “part of the whole”, striving to help not hurt humanity.
- Shift attention to a reliable guest, someone who you know will provide an inclusive comment or open conversation for others at the table. Slowly, warmth will flow back into the room. Exhale.
Inevitably, as hosts we will be caught off guard by insensitive comments. Charles Duke of To-Table offers the following advice:
“The difficult table guest more often refuses to engage rather than overtakes the conversation. A loud, even bullying, guest can be managed – you can reign him or her in – but the boring dinner partner can ruin the whole party. Try not to include in your guest list those who, as Churchill said, have “all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire”. [2]
Although it’s more compelling to hear different perspectives and experience all types of personalities, consider the best “mix” of guests, ahead of the gathering!
With the upcoming elections season, it’s time to delve into topics affecting our country, carefully, thoughtfully and with a sense of humor! We’re in this world together! Gather around the table with our best selves, relish the food and hear different perspectives.
[1]“Use Humor to Befriend, Diffuse Tension and Have More Fun” ; Kare Anderson, Forbes, November, 2013; http://www.forbes.com/sites/kareanderson/2013/11/03/use-humor-to-befriend-defuse-tension-and-have-more-fun/#3f8176d4c770
[2]
http://to-table.com
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