Although some consider me an extrovert, over the years I’ve become more introverted. That’s not to say “I want to be alone” is an everyday refrain. Quiet is just difficult to find in our digitally loud world.

Perhaps almost more challenging is walking into a room full of people we don’t know, strangers. Small talk doesn’t come easily. After staring at our screens we’re rusty at face-to-face interactions. Sitting down with someone occurs less often these days. Even telephone conversations are becoming rare. It’s easier to text or email.

Making small talk is intimidating, even terrifying. For some reason, I often feel like such a geek when approaching total strangers. Starting up conversation can also be disheartening because it can remain dreadfully superficial.

What to do? Here are some ideas:

Relax. Before entering a room, take some big long breaths and quiet your mind. Listen to a guided meditation in your car before arriving (Seriously, I love “Insight Timer “, one of my favorite Apps for guided meditations.) Go with the mindset that you will enjoy whatever happens at the gathering and whomever you talk with. What’s the point of being there otherwise!

Network at well-attended events

If an event is popular and full of attendees, it’s easier to be a “wall flower” for a little while. If you stand by yourself wondering who to talk to, don’t fret. Who cares! Stand and look around. Observe the conversation and let the energy seep in!

Introduce yourself first

Take a leap and introduce yourself to small groups (2 or 3 people). You’re at the gathering to meet people. Go for it. After making my introduction I  ask “what brought you to this event tonight?” or “what was your day like today”? Have a favorite question ready, one that is slightly more personal and assumes that this person might even become a friend.

Listen. Have a sincere interest in others. Ask genuine questions.

Let go of an agenda. Nothing backfires more than aggressively networking for a very specific reason. Establish a relationship and build from there. Don’t expect others to open their contact files. If you like who you’re meeting, follow up later. Consider how you might be able to serve their needs. Relationships should be for mutual benefit.

You’re unique! Remember most of all that you have so much to offer that is true to you only.